Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
