Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
