I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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