their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
