i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
