i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's shark week go big or go home
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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