No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize