I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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