doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
