I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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