you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
