im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
