I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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