After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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