You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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