your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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