Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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