Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize