I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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