Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
