i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
