Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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