is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
