what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize