What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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