My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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