Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
