I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
