I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize