She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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