WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
