I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
