We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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