My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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