he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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