My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My bed is full of blood and feathers
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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