remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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