oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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