he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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