were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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