Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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