After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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