its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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