My vagina just recognized that song.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize