You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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