Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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