My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
