That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
All the doctor said was why
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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