Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize