Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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