break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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