so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize