Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
