actually, I'm a sock model
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
