Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
