My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I believe in your delicious
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
