This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
