You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
did i just pee glitter
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
