mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
